“You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.” Zig Ziglar

The desire to be recognised, to feel important and appreciated is all-powerful. And the more important you make someone feel, the more positively they will respond to you. Read on to find out how to use this life-skill to achieve success and harmony in your relationships.

The human need to feel important has been found to be higher than physiological needs such as hunger because after a person has eaten, they are no longer hungry. The need for feeling important is even higher than the need for love because when love is attained the need is satisfied. It’s also higher than safety because when a person is secure, safety is not an issue.

In fact, the desire to feel important is the strongest constant human urge and is the one characteristic that separates us from the animals.

So, here are the tips you need to make others feel important:

1. Give sincere compliments

a. Compliment a person’s behavior, appearance or possessions

b. Say what you like and tell them why you like it

c. Begin with the person’s name

d. If someone compliments you, accept it, thank them and explain why you’re grateful for the compliment

2. Learn to listen effectively

a. Use ‘active’ listening. Put down your phone, turn off the tv, and concentrate on listening

b. Paraphrase what the person said and feed it back to them, starting with the word ‘you’

c. Use minimal encouragers, like “Uh ha”, “Tell me more”

3. Learn how to say “thank you”

a. Say your thanks clearly and distinctly

b. Use the person’s name

c. Send a written thank you note

4. Remember people’s names

a. Repeat the name

b. Turn their name into an object

Practice these tips for the next week and watch the results unfold! And above all, remember nature’s law of equal returns: whatever you give out, you will receive back in multiples sometime, somewhere.

Would you like to learn more people skills? Order your copy of Easy Peasey: People Skills for Life

Copyright © Allan Pease. All rights reserved. Published by agreement with Pease International Pty Ltd.